You decided NOT to have kids at your wedding. Now what?
Whether you have made this decision because of your wedding budget, venue capacity or just because of your personal choice, you made the right decision for you and your Fiancé. Now, you just need to follow some guidelines to make sure things go accordingly.
First, you need to decide if there will be any exceptions to having no kids invited to the wedding. Do you have an age cut-off? Are only kids in the wedding party allowed? Are only your kids allowed? Maybe the kids only come for the ceremony and not the reception is one option. Whatever makes you comfortable is the correct choice. You just need to convey that in a respectful way. You will need to explain your decision over and over. Be prepared for that.
Communication is key here. You must let your family and friends know as soon as possible and, in many ways, if they cannot bring their kids to the wedding. You must understand that some guests will be upset about your decision. Just convey to them your wishes and the positive reasons. "You want them to enjoy an adult evening so they can relax." This is a great starter for the conversation.
Save the Dates and invitations must be clear about not having kids. You will also need to put this information on your FAQs section of your wedding website. Do some research on "nice ways" to say no kids for your invitations. Tailor something that fits your personality and communication style.
Consider offering childcare options off-site from the venue. If a relative lives close to the venue. You can offer their house up with a professional babysitter as an option. Of course, you need permission from the homeowner for this. Maybe you offer to pay for the use of their home. Another option is for each person bringing their child would pay a part of the cost to the babysitter. You can invite the kids to the wedding, but they have to leave by a certain time. This is an alternative that worked at our wedding. Their grandparents took them home after a couple of hours. The downside is you still pay for all those guests, and they leave early. This is a trade of option for sure. Keep in mind, you will have some guests that will not be able to travel if they cannot bring their kiddos. If these guests are important, you should consider making an exception for their kids. For example, a nursing Mother is not going to be able to leave their baby in another state to attend your wedding.
You must consider the vibe of your reception. Will it be club like? You cannot have kids at a party with intoxicated guests acting up on the dancefloor. It can be unsafe. Will you have music that is explicit? This is a serious issue in regard to curse words and sexually explicit topics in music. You should not compromise your taste in music at your reception because of other's kids. Can a kid unsee his mother dropping it low on the dancefloor? Depending on the age, I would say it is risky to force that on a kid. On the other end of the spectrum, Grandmothers still like to dance and drop it low too!
If you are having an engagement party or wedding brunch? Maybe you have a family style event beforehand to include the kids in the festivities. These events are alternative options but will increase your wedding budget. There are so many ways to think about this. You just need to take the time and make the decision BEFORE you start discussing it with family and friends. Everyone will have an opinion. And most times, their opinion is what works best for them. I encourage you to really take some time to consider all the options before you start the conversation with your guests. And remember, it is okay to change your mind. You do what is best for you!
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Warm Regards and happy planning,
Lauren
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